I was going to write what I have been doing for the past 10 days but my mind got lost on fox digging holes. I mentioned Mr. Fox and digging holes because I thought it was an apt metaphor to what I've been doing.
Basically, I've scribbling a lot on my notebook, and it's pretty much what has been on my mind, even on my deep slumber. Unlike Mr. Fox, I wasn't running away from danger. I was just digging out of curiosity. Sure, they were infinitely better and meaningful things to do, but my mind was fixated on digging this hole. For my own detriment, it was almost the only thing I wanted to do for current time being.
My Digging was stupid and useless, and a complete waste of time. The only thing I would get out of this digging is to sink my life further. I was under no illusion that my digging would result into anything I would write home about (which is funny, because I'm always home). There's no glory here, it's all dirt, mud and worms.
Past the initial curiosity, digging turns into obsession, then suffering and borderline insanity. One night awoke in cold sweat three times to the same nightmare, believing I was almost there but there was nothing but a dead end.
In my mind, I was intoxicated with mad curiousity, thinking digging this part would reveal something, or would lead to something mankind has never ventured before. It was a dead end, but then I thought, what about this way, or that way. I could have consulted a pre-made map (by studying number theory), but no, I liked the feeling of ignorance and naivety, thinking there is more to what the eyes can see.
And this is where I am now. Thankfully, my manic episodes has died down a bit, and now I'm ready to go back and do some other projects. I'd say, I can't believe I've just wasted almost ten days digging for no purpose, but then it's completely plausible and in-character for me to do such a thing.
Of course, before I bury and cover up the hole, I should at least charter a map for the dungeons I've made. Which is to say, I should at least write down my own "self-discoveries", however trivial or unnew they are.
Looking at my logs, I realized I haven't written much for almost ten days now. It has been mostly just screenshots, although looking at the screenshots is pretty amusing too. Sometimes I think, hey this anime screenshot actually looks kind of cool. I should probably add some proper attribution though. Alternatively, I'll try noting down when I finished watching a whole season for the anime I watched, maybe throw in some my thoughts whether I like it or meh. But if I finished watching the whole season, it's most likely I liked watching it.
Man, I think my keyboard accumulated too much dust and fur again, some key presses sometimes doesn't work.
Anyways, last sunday I watched the movie Fantasic Mr. Fox. I rarely watch movie nowadays, but recently I read the short book with the same title where the movie was based on. The book was short enough to finish in one or two sittings, and I read it before going to bed. It's not a profound book or anything that gives me new insight or teaches a new knowledge or skill. Still, it was a fun read, it gave me a sense of nostalgic adventure. I used to dig a lot of holes too when I was a kid. The biggest and deepest hole I dug even allowed me to burrow my whole body and peek my head out like a rabbit.
I'm slightly disappointed that the movie changed a lot of things from the book, it's almost a different story, save for the same set of characters. But no big deal, it's still a fun watch too.
